Conquering Networking Events

One time, someone asked my friend how she got me to open up, saying, “She’s so quiet.” My friend was floored: “Kelly? She never stops talking!”

True story.

I’ve chalked that moment up to being misread as shy, when really, it was probably due to my hearing loss — something I’ve lived with all my life. I didn’t start wearing hearing aids consistently until this year, so sometimes people get the wrong impression.

If you’ve actually met me, “reserved” isn’t a word you’d use. That’s why I know my event anxiety isn’t just an inherent personality trait. It’s more likely a lingering side effect of COVID, which struck during my peak social status in college scholarly and extracurricular achievements sophomore year of college.

I went from attending job fairs and optional career workshops as a freshman… to being too anxious to stop by a professor’s office as a junior. The part of me that thrives on human connection? She was struggling.

And let’s be honest, working from home after graduation hasn’t helped much. Pair that with regularly attending events where I find myself standing next to CEOs, thinking I’m still just a girl, and yeah… the anxiety hasn’t exactly disappeared.

The Paradox of Networking Anxiety

What’s ironic is that once I’m in the room, I love it. I always walk away energized, inspired, and wondering why I don’t do it more often. It’s in those moments I remember: I’m an extrovert. I thrive on connection. And I’m proud of myself for not letting fear win.

If you relate, here are the tactics I’ve built to help me push through.

1. Getting to the Event Is the Hardest Part

My golden rule: put the event on your calendar, and then forget about it. Just act like you’re going - no debate, no spiraling. Treat it like a dentist appointment that charges you for rescheduling.

But please don’t wait until the day of the event to make sure you have business cards. 

2. Prepare When You’re in a Good Headspace

When I’m feeling calm a few days before, I’ll:

• Pick out my outfit

• Brush up on my elevator pitch

• Look up the host or attendees, if I can

Preparedness has always helped curb my anxiety. The more I know, the more confident I feel.

3. My Trick for Getting Through the Door

I'm usually working during the day, so when I start getting ready for an evening event, I’ll listen to a podcast or call a friend while I get ready. It keeps me distracted and in a good mood.

If I’m talking to a friend, I try to stay on the phone until I walk in, that way, I’m already moving, already talking, and by the time I hang up, I’m mid-nametag like, “Well, guess I’m doing this now.”

(10/10 psychological hack, highly recommend.)

4. The Networking Itself

Here’s the thing: everyone is there to talk to strangers. That’s literally the point.

So go up to people. Ask questions. If you have no idea what they’re talking about? Ask more questions.

My brothers always told me, “If you want someone to like you, just keep asking about them.” 

5. How to Exit a Conversation Gracefully

You will get stuck in a conversation you want to leave. That’s also part of the deal.

Look for your moment — a pause, someone walking by, a comment that wraps the topic, and then just do it. You don’t have to ghost them mid-sentence, but you also don’t need to stand there until the venue closes.

Pro tip: Don’t take it personally when it happens to you, either. It’s not rejection, it’s simply making the most of the event.

Bonus: If You’re Fresh Out of College

Being a few months (or years) out of school helps. People love talking to recent grads, it makes them feel closer to their own college days, and it gives you an easy talking point.

Let’s Trade Tips

If you have any pre-event rituals or ways you manage networking nerves, please share! I’m always curious how other people prep for high-energy social settings.